Divorce Solutions: “The Blame Game”

November 22nd, 2013

When things don’t work, something is wrong.  Something got screwed up, or someone made a
mistake of judgment, or of the heart. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea from the beginning, ill conceived.

When a relationship ends, everyone you know or who knows you, eventually find out. Some are not surprised, but some are just shocked. You were such a great couple, are we next?

So you need to have an explanation. Sometimes it is a different explanation for family, verses
your friends. And when you get to start dating, a whole new explanation may be in play.

You tell people what happened and why it didn’t work. While sometimes both sides take the high
road, and say it just didn’t work out, more often the low road get visited, and sometimes right from the start.

The low road takes you nowhere, but your emotions will not let you change lanes. It is our
nature to see things mostly from our own perspective and in our mind there are things that are just right and wrong.

Most of your friends and family are going to be supportive,“you’re right he was a _____”. So you get reinforcements to help you believe in your version of the truth.

In my law practice, I mostly hear the low road versions of their spouse. He/she is a control
freak, is selfish, is cheap and sometimes just plain crazy. These people can be very pursuasive that the share of the blame is about 10% them and 90% the other. By the time they come to my office they are convinced.

When I was a younger lawyer, I was often relieved to hear these stories because it is a lot better to represent the party in the right.

But after seeing the truth attempted to be determined in a court of law, you realize that truth
is a very illusive commodity.

So when these 90/10 stories get repeated, you begin to do your own discounting of those odds.
How could a person that one marries and commits to be with for a lifetime, turn out to be that bad? People can change, no doubt, but odds are we get a little better over time.

But living together for most of a lifetime is not easy, and for some it just doesn’t work. And while splitting up and making a change is difficult, it is at least the reality of our times, as more people are getting divorced in this country now than ever.

Divorce is hard and can be expensive, not just financially but emotionally. The key to getting
through the process is to manage both of these elements, and they are so related. The most expensive divorces are those where the emotions take center stage, supported by the blame game.

The key to divorce is simple, get it over with, and get on with your life. The key to the key, is to leave the blame game tucked away.

It is hard to fully understand the true dynamics of relationship gone bad, and it becomes a bit clearer when you are on the other side of it.  So why bother taking a firm position early on? Give the other person some benefit of a doubt. A doubt you should have about your version of the truth.

Most judges will tell you that they have seen very few 90/10 case, as most are even odds. But you probably have some good points to make about the other person’s faults. You know them better than anyone else.

But accept a truism that you might lack clear insight in your own foibles. While you may not be capable of being one of those high road couples, at least be middle road riders.

Maine Zoning and Land Use Advocacy

March 12th, 2013
     In our experience, real estate and zoning disputes rank second only to divorce and
family matters in terms of the emotion and passion that our clients (and the opposing
parties) bring to the table. Real estate is a very large investment for most people and
their expectations regarding privacy (keeping things the way they were/are) on the one
hand and their ability to develop as they see fit on the other can be very high. Cutting
through this emotion and focusing on the legal issues is our job. Whether we are
representing a developer seeking assistance with the permitting process and dealing with
“noisy neighbors” or a property owner who is concerned about monitoring or defeating a
nearby construction project, we pride ourselves on being able to give solid advice based
on years of experience.

     The first step is to establish realistic expectations. Property owners seeking
permitting approvals need to understand that there are limits as to what can and can’t be
done with land given the regulations applicable to their specific parcel. For example,
the fact that you have the legal right to operate a restaurant or a golf course on your
property does not mean that you can ignore traffic, parking, storm water control and other
legitimate legal concerns of permitting authorities and neighboring property owners.
Conversely, clients seeking to oppose or raise objections to development proposals
must take care to focus on the legal issues and avoid NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard)
syndrome. No amount of advocacy can change the fact that a property abutting yours
is zoned for use as a driving range, for instance, but by the same token, it is reasonable
to expect that limitations can be placed on that use if the right approach is taken in
presenting objections. The key in both instances is to have a very detailed understanding
of the “rules of the game” and then develop a plan to effectively advance the client’s

     Our firm specializes in representing clients before municipal boards (and some
state agencies) on a wide range of land use and zoning matters. Both partners have
extensive experience representing developers of real estate ranging from condominium
developments to subdivisions to golf courses, and we also represent abutters seeking to
object to or monitor such projects. Our practice includes representing clients before local
planning boards, tax assessment review boards, zoning boards of appeal, boards of
selectmen and city councils. We strive to maintain good working relationships with the
code and planning departments in virtually all York County municipalities. We also
represent the Towns of Berwick and Lebanon (and thus cannot accept legal work
concerning officials and boards in those municipalities).

Overview of the Zoning Process

     All property owners in Maine are subject to local and state regulation with regard
to what they can and can’t do with their property. Each municipality has adopted a
zoning ordinance (sometimes known as a land use code) and, before proposing many
changes to the use of land, property owners must assure that they are in compliance with
these laws. Coastal properties present a unique set of circumstances, usually involving
oversight by the Maine Department of Environmental Protection and sometimes federal
agencies. It is important to have a good working knowledge of the details and intricacies
of the applicable laws and regulations. While many are similar, there are always specific
provisions that vary from town to town. In particular, the ability to build or expand on
non-conforming uses, properties, or buildings can be complicated and each
municipality’s regulations must be reviewed carefully.

     Many municipalities require the merger of substandard non-conforming
lots if they are titled in the same name. Without proper planning, this can create
significant difficulties for clients wishing to maximize the development potential of their
properties. Development proposals are usually required to receive municipal review by
one or more of the following: code enforcement office, planning department, planning
board, zoning board of appeals, and site plan review board. Some municipalities
consolidate these processes but many have separate boards, each with its own set of
bylaws, rules and regulations. Whether we represent a developer/property owner looking
to install a new use or a concerned abutter looking to stop a project or make sure that the
rules and regulations are followed properly, the process is similar. It is first important to
look at the specific development plan and compare it to the relevant local, state and
federal ordinances and regulations. Occasionally, clients will seek to develop uses that
are not currently permitted in a given zoning district and, in those instances, it is
necessary to explore the process of changing the zoning regulations in the municipality.
This adds another level of legal review and usually involves petitioning the town for a
zoning amendment, often times requiring full voter approval.

For Developers of Property

     In representing clients who seek to develop or redevelop property, the first step is
to review and discuss the nature of the proposal, and then schedule a meeting with the
appropriate local official(s) in the planning department or code office in the municipality.
The relevant legal issues should be identified at this initial attorney-client meeting and a
decision made as to how much, if any, additional expert involvement may be needed.
Simple conversions of existing buildings to the condominium form of ownership often
require little more than a stamped survey with architectural renderings, but more
complicated proposals such as new subdivisions and commercial developments will
require engineering, storm water and other technical expertise. We prefer to have
involvement at the ground level in order to properly advise clients, but often times our
advice is requested at other points in the process. Once a plan is developed for the
development proposal, a decision will be made with the client regarding who is the best
person to present the project to the relevant reviewing municipal authorities. Often times
the architect or engineer is the best “point person” with legal counsel either present or on
the sidelines monitoring the process.

For Concerned Neighbors or Abutters of Development Proposals

     For those clients seeking representation monitoring or objecting to development
proposals, we have a similar approach. It is first important to review the precise details
of the proposal itself, preferably before the plans are presented in public to a planning,
site review, or other board. At that initial meeting, legal issues can be flagged and a
decision made as to whether additional expert advice may be needed. Depending upon
budgetary constraints, we often advise clients in these situations to hire their own
engineers (for instance traffic engineers) whose testimony can be presented in person by
the expert or through written submissions at the appropriate board hearings. Our level of
involvement in representing abutters and neighbors is driven by an honest discussion
regarding budget. Often times we will provide legal advice to clients who go on to
represent themselves before boards, thus avoiding the expense of having us physically

For Individuals Seeking Representation In Miscellaneous Municipal Matters

     Clients often come to us with requests to represent them in pursuing variances or
other land use permits for their individual residences. Setback issues are often presented
(whether from the ocean, a lake or pond, or a wetland) and we are engaged to assist in the
process of obtaining the desired permits. In a similar vein, we are often asked to review
tax assessments and advise clients regarding the advisability of pursuing an abatement.
In these cases, it is important to have a very clear understanding of the facts pertaining to
each particular property prior to meeting with the appropriate local official. At times,
presenting information in an organized and professional way can avoid the necessity of
having to appear before a Board to plead one’s case. In the case of abatement requests,
clients must be prepared to commission appraisals and present that evidence to the tax
assessor or board of assessment review. Variances and other land use requests for single
family residences often require the services of an architect or other expert to provide
sufficient detail regarding the property and establish the components of hardship under
Maine law (not an easy prospect, by the way). In the end, it is up to the client/
homeowner to make a decision as to whether it is more cost effective to take our advice
and proceed to the appropriate board themselves or hire us to do so on their behalf.
These are matters which we openly discuss with clients early and often.

The Appeal Process

     All municipal decisions in the land use review process are appealable under
Maine law. From a simple decision by a code enforcement officer issuing a building
permit to a planning board decision approving a major subdivision, the appeal process is
well prescribed under local ordinances and Maine statutory law. In the case of a building
inspector or code enforcement officer’s decision, the route of appeal is first to the local
zoning board of appeals (sometimes called the board of adjustment). That board will
review the initial decision and issue its own findings affirming, denying or modifying it.
From there, interested parties have the legal right to appeal to the Maine Superior Court
following the Maine Rules of Civil Procedure. That process involves the parties agreeing
on an official record and then submitting written briefs to a single Justice of the Superior
Court, whereupon the matter is scheduled for oral argument. After an oral argument and
a decision by that Justice, there is one final appeal available to the Maine Supreme
Judicial Court, where a similar process of compiling a record and filing briefs is followed.
     In our role representing municipalities, both partners have defended many land
use cases in the Court system, giving us that unique perspective. A working knowledge
of the appellate system from all these angles (developer, abutter, and municipality) is
critical, as decisions made from the very earliest time of representation should have
the end of the process in mind. Cases often rise and fall on the adequacy of the official
record and local municipal boards and officials cannot necessarily be relied upon to do a
thorough job. It is important that findings of fact and conclusions of law be specifically
articulated in the right way (from the client’s perspective) so that the groundwork for the
legal review process is properly laid.

Wills & Estate Planning – Maine

April 2nd, 2012

by Attorney Bruce M. Read

Overview of Reasoning for and Costs of Wills and Estate Planning Documents

Our office typically charges about 2 hours of attorney time ($450.00) to prepare joint and reciprocal estate planning documents for married couples whose combined net worth is less than $3 million.  This figure is slightly less for individuals.  The process involves a first meeting with the attorney to discuss estate planning needs after which our office will generate a draft of the Wills, General Durable Powers of Attorney and Advance Health Care Directives which are then mailed or e-mailed to the clients for review and comment.  After edits are made, a second appointment is scheduled to have the clients sign in front of two witnesses and a notary.  In most cases we keep the originals of all estate planning documents in our fireproof file cabinet.  We also mail copies of Advance Health Care Directives to the clients’ doctors and healthcare professionals, including hospitals.

Most people understand the importance of preparing a Last Will and Testament.  If you die without one, the Maine legislature, by statute, has written one for you that will govern the disposition of all assets.  While it is NOT the case that assets “go to the State” as many people believe, the distribution schedule set forth in the statute is rarely in line with what a person would have specifically chosen.  The amounts and percentages of assets distributed to survivors depends upon their marital and blood relation to the deceased and how many exist.

The importance of having a Durable Power of Attorney in place is to avoid having to petition the Probate Court for a conservatorship in the event a person becomes unable to make financial decisions on their own behalf. This is a relatively expensive and time-consuming process that MUST be followed if a person has not designated another individual to make financial decisions on their behalf.

Similarly, an Advance Health Care Directive (previously known as a “Living Will”) serves to officially appoint another person to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so yourself.  The form we use has a detailed list of instructions and directives to be followed, but also gives the agent authority to “step into the shoes” of the incapacitated person and make decisions.  The authority to act only applies if the person is unable to make medical decisions on their own.

Clients often ask for advice regarding how real estate is held and how to protect assets from potential federal and state attachment in the event of long term care or aid/assistance.  We can re-title assets and provide advice on these issues at the attorney’s current hourly rate.

More complicated estate planning for higher net worth individuals involving trusts, conveyancing work and the like are billed on a straight time basis at the attorney’s current hourly rate.  We will provide a cost estimate after discussing these matters with our clients.

Real Estate Transactions in Maine – What to Expect for Costs

January 4th, 2012

By Attorney Bruce M. Read

Real Estate Transactions – Costs and Process



A typical transaction handled by our office representing the buyer of real estate involves one of the attorneys either assisting in the preparation of a Purchase and Sale Agreement (“P&S”) and negotiating its terms or representing a buyer who has already come into the office with a signed P&S.  In the case of buyers who need our services in negotiating and drafting the P&S, we would select the appropriate template from our database and tailor the terms of the offer to the client’s needs.  We have experience in drafting all the necessary forms relating to real estate sales, from raw land to primary residences, to second homes, to commercial properties.   We discuss with our clients their expectations regarding a budget for legal fees, and typically work on an hourly basis.  We currently bill at the rate of $225 per hour and itemize that time to the one-tenth of an hour so that clients can easily see where our time is spent on a day to day basis.

In a situation where a buyer arrives in our office having already signed a P&S, we begin our representation by examining the contingencies regarding due diligence and engage our paralegal to begin the title search.  If financing is involved, we will wait until a loan commitment is offered to undertake the title work in order to save the client that expense in the event that financing falls through.

A buyer in ANY real estate transaction is faced with the following costs:

  • -State of Maine transfer tax ($2.20 per $1,000 of purchase price – this tax is owed by both buyers and sellers in all real estate transactions in the State of Maine);
  • -Title search fee – we typically charge $275 to have our paralegal perform a search of the Registry records affecting the parcel of land at issue.  She will present her work to one of the attorneys who will then review it and follow up on any issues flagged.  The title examination will disclose what outstanding mortgages exist against the property as well as easements any other liens or encumbrances.  All matters of record are then listed in a title insurance commitment or a title certification letter and clearance of all outstanding matters is handled at closing.
  • -Title insurance – this is a required cost in any transaction involving a lender and the premium is based upon the loan amount/purchase price.  Property owners are always afforded the opportunity to purchase a separate policy in their own name covering the full amount of the purchase price (as opposed to the loan amount) and the simultaneous issuance of both the loan and owners’ policy comes at a significant discount.  Loan policies are typically issued at the rate of $2 per $1,000 of loan amount and owners policies at $3.50 per $1,000 (which covers both the loan amount and the purchase price, naming the owner and lender as insureds). Please see the attached link for a more in depth description of title insurance matters.
  • -Closing services – our office will prepare all the necessary documentation to close the transaction and will run all funds through our Client Trust Account.  We pay off existing mortgages and encumbrances, and issue checks to realtors, taxing authorities and other professionals for their services rendered in connection with the closing.  In typical transactions, our firm charges $575 to the buyer for this service.
  • -Real estate taxes, water, sewer and other municipal expense prorations.  At closing, the amounts owing for these charges must be prorated between buyer and seller based up their respective periods of ownership.  Our office will obtain figures from the municipality and apportion all those amounts, whether due in the future or previously paid such that buyer and seller will each be charged only for their period of ownership.  
  • -Recording fees – The Registry of Deeds charges a fee based upon the number of pages of a document to be recorded.  Buyers are responsible for recording the deed of conveyance (typically around $15), the mortgage deed (typically around $50), and any other bank documents that need to be recorded at the Registry of Deeds.

In addition to the above costs, real estate transactions can involve more work on the part of the attorney due to any number of factors.  All time spent by the attorneys on matters outside the scope of what is outlined above are billed at our current hourly rate, which we itemize to the one-tenth of an hour.  We are careful to inform clients of such additional costs so that they can make informed decisions. 



For parties needing legal representation in the sale of real estate, the costs are fairly straightforward.  Sellers are responsible for preparing the deed of transfer to the buyers and our fee for that service (including the required transfer tax form) is $150. Additional work necessary to assist sellers is billed at our hourly rate itemized to the one-tenth of an hour.

In addition to the above costs, all sellers of real estate in Maine are subject to the following:

  •  -$2.20 per $1,000 of purchase price payable to the State of Maine (applicable to both buyers and sellers).
  • – FOR OUT OF STATE SELLERS ONLY – 2.5% of the total purchase price payable to the State of Maine.   This amount is an anticipation of an out of state seller’s capital gains tax liability and must be collected at closing unless the sellers are able to obtain an exemption or discount from the State Treasurer’s office.  We often assist seller clients in obtaining those exemptions and reductions.



Our office closes refinance transactions for many area lenders.  Our current charge to lenders (which is passed along to the borrowers) to close a refinance transaction is $475. If asked, we will also provide title insurance which, depending upon the loan amount, is typically in the range of $2.00 per $1,000 of amount borrowed.  In Maine, all borrowers have the right to select their own title attorney.  We can serve in that limited role for a refinance customer even if the bank uses another closing agent.  Our fees for that service, which typically involve updating the title and issuing new title insurance, are $200 plus the title insurance premium.


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October 20th, 2011

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